Frequently asked questions
Why are you called Crappie Protein?
Because it’s funny.
Then we made the protein extremely good to balance things out.
What is the return policy?
Returns?
We regret to inform you this is protein powder, not a reversible life decision.
This is a food product.
Not a hoodie. Not sneakers. Not vibes you can send back.
Before buying, please consult:
- Your doctor
- Your naturopath
- Your trainer
- Your dietician
- Your mom
- Whoever runs your meal plan
We fully support informed decisions. What we don’t support is:
- “They changed their mind.”
- “I can’t have whey anymore.”
- “My cleanse starts tomorrow.”
Respectfully... that sounds personal.
Once you buy it, it’s yours.
You keep it.
You gift it.
You frame it.
You become stronger because of it.
But you don’t return it.
When will I get my order?
Processing Time:
We pack your protein as fast as humanly possible.
Orders are typically processed within 1–3 business days because:
- Humans pack them
- Not robots (yet)
- We like to double-check you’re getting the good stuff
If there’s a delay, it’s probably because:
- Weather
- Carriers
- Holidays
Shipping Speed:
Once your order leaves us, it’s in the hands of the shipping gods.
Delivery times depend on:
- Your location
- Carrier performance
- General life chaos
Translation: it’ll get there when it gets there but we promise it’s coming.
Tracking
Yes, you’ll get tracking.
Yes, you can refresh it obsessively.
No, that will not make it move faster.
What is the serving size?
There are 30 servings per bag.
If you want more, buy more bags.
Help! I put in an incorrect address
Hit us up ASAP but do us a favour and
enter your address correctly.
If you accidentally ship your protein to:
- Your ex’s house
- Your old apartment
- Your gym crush
- A crusty homeowner down the street
That is unfortunately your journey, not ours.
We ship to the address provided. Triple check before checkout. If we have to reroute it, you're funding that journey.
My protein arrived damaged.
Your protein should arrive sealed and emotionally stable.
If it does not, contact us with photo evidence.
Important Clarification
We do not cover damage caused by:
- Opening the bag like a raccoon
- Scissors violence
- Gym bag explosions
- Dropping it down the stairs
- Your pre-workout rage
Once it’s safely in your hands, its fate is between you and gravity.
Where are you located?
We ship and manufacture from Windsor, Ontario.