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Let's keep it light.
Because it’s funny.
Then we made the protein extremely good to balance things out.
Returns?We regret to inform you this is protein powder, not a reversible life decision.This is a food product.Not a hoodie. Not sneakers. Not vibes you can send back.
Before buying, please consult:
We fully support informed decisions. What we don’t support is:
Respectfully... that sounds personal.
Once you buy it, it’s yours.
You keep it. You gift it.You frame it.You become stronger because of it.
But you don’t return it.
We pack your protein as fast as humanly possible.
Orders are typically processed within 1–3 business days because:
If there’s a delay, it’s probably because:
Once your order leaves us, it’s in the hands of the shipping gods.
Delivery times depend on:
Translation: it’ll get there when it gets there but we promise it’s coming.
Yes, you’ll get tracking. Yes, you can refresh it obsessively. No, that will not make it move faster.
There are 30 servings per bag.If you want more, buy more bags.
Hit us up ASAP but do us a favour and enter your address correctly.
If you accidentally ship your protein to:
That is unfortunately your journey, not ours.
We ship to the address provided. Triple check before checkout. If we have to reroute it, you're funding that journey.
Your protein should arrive sealed and emotionally stable.
If it does not, contact us with photo evidence.
We do not cover damage caused by:
Once it’s safely in your hands, its fate is between you and gravity.
We ship and manufacture from Windsor, Ontario.
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